I’ve been thinking about death lately because several people we know have died and I’ve been attending memorial services. I came home from church recently and resolved to write out a list of the types of music, or even specific songs, I want played or sung should I ever die.
(Of course I haven’t decided if I want to be cremated or buried, but I know I can figure out the music . . . )
I’ve been a musician my whole life and love classical music. I also love movie musicals and appreciate the wisdom of hymns. I like some contemporary Christian music and am a total sucker for anything sung by Nat King Cole.
There’s always When The Saints Go March In, too.
That makes for an interesting mix.
I’ve been thinking about some of the memorable funerals I’ve attended or heard about and wonder if any of them give a key to what I should incoporate onto my list?
When one of my fellow UCLA band members drowned shortly after we graduated, his musician father asked members of the band to come with their instruments and “blow the roof off,” with Sons of Westwood. Many of the musicians thought it very cathartic. Click to Tweet
“Sons of Westwood,” however, was the wedding processional after my son got married so it probably isn’t a good choice for my funeral.
I put together a power point presentation of my father’s life that we showed at his memorial lunch. I used music he loved set against family photos to reflect his life. The list included the first record he purchased: Dvorak’s New World Symphony, segued to Nat King Cole’s “L-O-V-E,” included Spike Jones‘ “Der Fuhrer’s Face,” a snippet from South Pacific, Louis Armstrong’s “It’s a Wonderful World,” and concluded with Frank Sinatra’s theme song–which served well for Dad– “I Did It My Way.”
My second son danced with me at his wedding to “It’s a Wonderful World,” so that won’t work for my funeral, either. Or maybe it should?
I want to convey my beliefs and my confidence in Jesus’ resurrection; I’m not worried about where I’m going after my life ends on planet earth. But I want to encourage those left behind. I like some of the music of Twila Paris and Michael W. Smith, particularly “The Lamb of God” and “Agnus Dei.”
In the classical canon, I’d need something by Bach–perhaps Sheep May Safely Graze–and certainly Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. I’d love to include the Mozart clarinet concerto and some Mendelsohn, but I don’t think a congregation would be willing to sit through all that even for me.
Quite a bit of sheep-type music there, maybe that’s a statement about my need to follow a good shepherd? Click to Tweet
It’s the hymns, though, that convey truth within music and my favorite always has been Great is Thy Faithfulness. I also like the old stand-by, This is My Father’s World. In our family we also lean to the Navy hymn: Eternal Father Strong to Save.
When our friend Barry died two years ago, the church was packed and we cried and sang together. It was a glorious memory to a wonderful man, made even more poignant when his wife, Jan, got up to thank us for coming.
Jan has a beautiful, powerful voice, and she began to quote the lyrics from “Shout to the Lord”: “My Jesus, My Savior,” and then she finished by singing the song. The church rang with the words as the rest of us joined in, tears pouring down our faces and our songs rejoicing that Barry suffered no more.
I’ll be thinking about this more–though I certainly hope we won’t need the information anytime soon.
But you can guess the question: what music would you like sung at your funeral or memorial service? Click to Tweet
I tend to like Eternal Father Strong To Save myself, but I still want to wander off to John and June Carter Cash singing The Far Side Banks of Jordan. I want everyone I know and love to know I will be waiting for them and I will rise up with a shout and come running through the shallow water, reaching for their hand…
I am of good Scotch/Irish descent so I think an Irish Wake would be quite fitting…feel free to sing whatever you want from Love Is A Teasin’ to My Wild Irish Rose, at the end as things are winding down you can all join hands and sing Bless Be The Tie That Binds…our hearts in Christian Love…
I love this post!
I played the clarinet for my friend last month and the choices were “Turn, Turn, Turn,” “You’ll Never Walk Alone” (from Carousel) and ended with “Singing in the Rain,” which was just fun and so indicative of him.
And at my dad’s service, everyone laughed when the Spike Jones song began to play. As long as it reflects the individual, I say, “go for it!”
I edited a book once… for a well-known pastor (who shall remain nameless) who was adamant (and quite proud of himself) for refusing to allow Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way” to be played at a funeral in his church.
For years (at least 15) I have been telling Jesse, and his musical friends, and all MY musical friends, that when I die, they should bring their instruments and play for me one last time. It should be a heckuva jam session.
Absolutely! But won’t you hate to miss it? Have them come early . . . 🙂
I will definitely hate to miss it. 🙂
My father was not a religious man. His “service” was at his favorite Italian restaurant and included plenty of red wine . . .
I like the hymn “Lord of the Dance” or “I Danced in the Morning.” It is an upbeat hymn and seems like it would encourage people to hear it and consider its message. I found the words, if the link will come through on here:
http://www.hymnlyrics.org/mostpopularhymns/i_danced_in_the_morning.php
I don’t know if it is used for funerals or not. I saw mention that it is sometimes used at weddings.
A Quaker hymn, right, Janice? I’m smiling just seeing the title!
Susan dated a boy who was killed the spring after they graduated from high school. He was a percussionist, and his high school’s drumline played at his burial, in uniform. A beautiful tribute for a sweet boy. I’ll never forget the sound of those drums on that gorgeous, quiet, early March afternoon; you could quite literally have heard a dropped pin when they finished.
Except for those of us who were sobbing. I cried about that boy for months. Still do.
Always a tragedy when kids die, but how wonderful for the mourning students they had a positive way to express their grief. When one of my son’s friends died, the goth-studded funeral house was a grim, black place that only got worse when the 30 boy scouts sitting in the pews were snubbed and the mourning younger sister threw all her bitterness out at the crowd.
We exited shaken in a way I seldom have felt before; hope-less Pounding drums would have been so much healthier.
Afterwards, the boy scouts and their families stood in a circle in the parking lot, held hands, and repeated soothing words from their “brotherhood,” which was so helpful for everyone.
This is one of the reasons I’m writing about grief–in both the Morgan story but also in my post-Desert Storm tale.
My sympathies on your loss.
Oh MIchelle, the tears are once again flowing. Thank you so much for this. I’m glad that the service touched your heart. I too, have thought about what music at my service and there are just too many that come to mind. Every time I hear a new song I think.”mmm, maybe THAT song!” All I can do is hope that whatever is played, it will glorify our Lord and that HE will be honored and those who hear and sing will know that I am no longer in pain and and happy in heaven . Hugs
When I posted the question on FB, Jan, several people knew immediately what the song was you sang. It WAS that powerful–because of your love for Barry, but also because of the triumphant call to praise God even in the midst of our sadness. Your service plan focused on what was important: believers have hope and it is good after death. Thank you and all those hugs back!