NOT my husband; he’d just moved out of the photo
I’m in the depths of despair tonight and while it’s a relief to grovel here–sort-of–I’m really feeling pity for my poor, long suffering husband and want to salute him and all the other writer’s loved ones out there.
It’s not completely my/our fault. My husband knew I was a writer when he fell in love with me.
That was my stated goal at 15, and we’re still listening to me talk about it many years later.
Fortunately I’ve had success, so I can actually say I’m a published writer, which is more than what I said for most of our life together.
Five things writer’s loved ones endure: Click to Tweet
1. Ridiculous moaning and complaining:
“Do you think I’m getting fat sitting at the keyboard all the time?”
“Who removed my writing to download yet another game about saving the world from aliens?”
“I could have written the Great American Novel in the time I’ve wasted doing two loads of laundry for twenty years.”
“Do you think I ever had any talent?”
2. Boredom
“Would you mind rereading my opening chapter? You’ve been so helpful on the previous six revisions.”
“Did you notice the changes I made in the synopsis I left on your desk last night?”
“Let me tell you about my hero/heroine.”
“I’ve learned yet another tidbit of minutiae about the Civil War!”
“Can we please drive 250 miles out of our way so I can check what a wagon wheel feels like to the touch?”
The book title: The Good Life; he’s waiting for me to describe Alaska.
3. Potential Noteriety
“No one will think this is how we kiss.”
“The fat character is NOT based on your mother.”
“Readers won’t assume all my Navy escapades are based on things you did.”
“I made up this fight, no one will think this is the type of stuff we say to each other.”
“Puff ball is a perfectly acceptable romantic nickname.”
4. Travel Adventures
* Why spend the day in Paris when we can visit the trenches on the Somme?
Any guesses on what I’m making them do here?
* I thought it was your idea to visit all the French and Indian War battlefields.
* Can you smell the ocean from here?
* Why can’t you entertain two children in Salt Lake City while I spend 18 hours in the library?
* Forced to visit macabre exhibits and speak intelligently on war issues.
5.Word debates
“Can you give me a sensory description of an olive?”
“Do you think I have too many passive verbs in this, or should I remove all the ‘ly’ words?”
“What color green do you think this is?”
I feel sorry for writer’s loved ones, particularly those who have gone before. Consider just a few:
Count Leo Tolstoy forced his long suffering wife, Sophia the mother of eight living children who also ran his homes, to not only write her own diaries, but read his, every night. She also was responsible for transcribing War and Peace by hand–she rewrote the words seven times!
Dick Francis’ wife Mary did almost all his research and many believe she ghostwrote his books.
Vera Nabokov served as her husband’s assistant, editor and secretary and occasional taught his classes for him.
For further reading: How to be the Spouse of a Writer.
How to be a Writer and a Spouse
What is the Role of the Spouse in Writing?
Got any other suggestions? What can a partner do to encourage the writer they love?
In the meantime, let’s hear it for all those poor writer’s loved ones and for what they put up with. Click to Tweet
I think my wife may be very lucky. I only write when she’s not around, never ask her to read my stuff (and I don’t talk about what I’m writing), and have never, EVER called her Puff Ball.
Dawg, yes.
Cochise, yes.
Puff Ball…well, it would at least be a quick death.
I laughed so many times while reading this. Well put.
Great post and nice to meet another writer! I had to laugh at #2 My husband hears regularly and endures much the same your husband does. He’s a really good sport.
Thanks for linking to my blog with, How To Be A Writer And A Spouse.